dealing with negative relationships, part I

negative-relationships

Chubby flying babies. Arrows. Hearts. Chocolates, candy and flowers can only mean one thing – it’s almost Valentine’s Day. And while everyone is working the romance angle, I want to talk to you about your relationships.

But not just your romantic relationships though – I’m talking about your friendships and partnerships, personal and professional, and what they add, or take away from your life.

We’ve been talking a lot about purpose and energy here at red balloon lately, and interestingly, relationships affect both your purpose and your energy. I’m so fortunate to have a small but powerful group of close, solid friends in my life who are always there. They are the people I have an even exchange of energy with, and I feel happy and excited about life when I’ve been with them.

But over the years I’ve had to let go of life-long friends, and people I once placed on a pedestal because they no longer upheld my purpose or contributed positive energy. It is one of the most difficult things you’ll ever have to do in life, but sometimes it’s best for both people to release one another. These are the signs I’ve observed and begun to look for when determining who I need space from and who is helping me to move closer to my purpose, my happiness and my truth at home and at work:

A negative colleague / friend / romantic partner…
+ may have a low self-esteem, or belittles others to feel good about themselves (see narcissistic personality disorder)
+ attempts to manipulate you or the situation by making you second guess yourself
+ feels challenged by life
+ seems to be surrounded by drama
+ believes The Universe is out to get them
+ makes you feel exhausted
+ thinks that getting ahead is impossible
+ gives up easily
+ doesn’t always follow through on commitments to you or others
+ feels threatened or makes you feel guilty or undeserving when something good happens for you
+ attacks or blames you when they have a disagreement with you
+ refuses to see where they are accountable
+ runs hot and cold
+ feels distant or disconnected much of the time

A positive colleague / friend / romantic partner…
+ values themselves and the people around them
+ respects your opinions or thoughts, even if they don’t agree
+ is open to possibility
+ has a sense of peace
+ believes The Universe is conspiring for them
+ makes you feel excited and energized
+ feels that they are making progress
+ is persistent
+ consistently makes good on their commitments to you or others
+ celebrates with you when good things happen for you
+ desires genuine understanding and resolution when they have a disagreement with you
+ tries to see how they are accountable in creating a situation
+ loves you or cares about you unconditionally
+ is engaged and attentive

Negativity is a destructive force, and if you aren’t paying attention, you will take that negativity on. So, how do you handle a negative relationship when you find yourself in one? Check back for part 2 of this post tomorrow and I’ll share some of my own experiences and advice for dealing with negative relationships.

 

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